Your Shadow

Tonight, after he had fallen asleep,
While we were having our,
Much needed,
One-on-one time,
I stepped out to grab you a blanket.
I reentered to find you staring,
In utter joy,
At his little face.
What are you doing? I asked.
Then.
Your words came from
Your soul space.

I know it's not always easy,
Being the older brother.
I know having a shadow,
A copycat, an idolater,
Is a rough business.
But, my sweet boy,
It won't always be like this.

He won't always be at your heels.
You won't always be the one
To make up your collective mind,
To be the one to help him,
To set the example
(Responsibility).
In the not too distant future
He will make his own footprints,
Without having to step in yours.
You will turn around and see,
Not him, but the space he once occupied.
He will have gone his own way.
Made his own friends,
Made his own mind,
Helped his own self,
Set his own example.

It's a difficult season.
Fair warning, it will
Get harder before
It gets easier.
But it will get easier.
And you will,
Although hard to imagine now,
Miss this time.
Just as I will miss this time.
Desperately.
So, too, will you miss
Your shadow.

He will always be your little.
You will always be his big.
You have each other in your keepings.
Forever.
You will go through it all,
Together.
You are siblings. Brothers.
Made of, literally
(Yes, in the literal sense of the word),
The same stuff.
What holds you together
Is blood. But it's also bond.
I see it already. It's there
Bubbling beneath the surface
Of frustration,
Of a need for space,
Of endless negotiations,
I see bond.
I see joy.
I see love.

What are you doing? I asked.
Just looking. You said.
He is so beautiful. 
I will never not love him.