That is to say, for quite some time now,
My light has been deprived of oxygen.
My light, the one I was told by all of those people,
On all of those Sundays,
All of those years ago,
To let Shine, Shine, Shine,
Let it Shine, is dwindling.
See this world has got me so low
I cannot draw a breath.
All around me I see darkness and fury,
Claw marks and notes drawn in the dirt
To loved ones.
I hear the distant echoes of people
Calling from other holes
From which they cannot get out.
Their lights are dwindling too.
And here I've sat, for the better part of 3 years,
Just watching my light grow dimmer.
That is done now.
I've got these three souls here
Right at the top
And I can see them.
Their lights are strong.
They call to me and their breath,
Albeit an exhalation,
Is somehow, remarkably,
Light-growing oxygen to me.
I'm going up for them.
But,
I'm mad.
I'm mad at myself
For sinking,
For staying,
For forgetting the Good and
Beautiful Things.
Like my children.
Like fresh baked bread.
Like the first snowfall,
The last spring rain,
A clean kitchen,
A gifted rock or feather or,
God knows, animal skull.
I'm mad,
At myself for not doing
The small things,
The brave things,
The right things.
For not living my values out loud.
That is done now.
I am resolved
To grow my light.
I will cultivate love.
I will live my values
Out Loud.
I will remember what a
Remarkably sweet life I have.
I will love and laugh freely.
I will speak up and out honestly.
I will mourn and grieve openly.
I will heal and hope continually.
Today, I say,
Day One.
