Mama Jar

I was doing bedtime with CJ when AL came in to do his bedtime routine with my husband. When I went in to say goodnight AL asked me if I had found the presents he had left me. I hadn't but said I would go and look right away. When I got downstairs I saw what he had left out on the counter for me. Dear, sweet child.

He is constantly gifting me things. Most of the time it is feathers. Feathers that, mind you, he has found in our living room, having been shed out of our down sofa pillows. Sometimes feathers that are too small to really be held by adult fingers. Throughout the winter, his gifts consist mainly of dried leaves he has found out in the yard or on walks. If there's been snow, he digs through it to find the leaves. I get a lot of rocks and sticks from both AL and BC. BC likes to bring me shells, bits of string, and small wires he's bent into various contemporary art shapes too. And of course they both like to bring me flowers. Every kind of flower they can find in the yard. I keep the flowers and green things in a tiny pot of water that sits in my kitchen window. I spend the spring and summer months constantly rotating out the gifts as they wilt and fade. 

The non-perishable gifts - those rocks, shells, and feathers - I keep in a large jar in my kitchen window. They've dubbed it my "Mama Jar". I'm not sure what I will do when this jar gets full, but I do so love peering into it. It is my constant reminder to be gentle with myself because, just look. Look at how much they love me. There's that saying about parenting young children that goes, "You will never be as loved as you are right now." And I reckon that's true. How I wish I could put these days into my Mama Jar.

Something Right

Dear BC,

Eight years old, eh? And what a birthday it is! The world is changing - has already changed - rapidly and these past several weeks have been hard on the world, hard on our community, hard on our family, and hard on you. Thank goodness for your tenacity. You have been so excited to turn 8 this year. Whenever I asked you what it was that made 8 feel like such an exciting birthday, you never really had an answer. That's okay. You can be excited about turning 8. Or 8 1/2. Or 8 7/8 for all I care.  I'm excited too. I'm excited to watch you grow. You are doing some amazing things around here. Your pallet fort, fairy habitat, fire pit, general yard work, flower tending, make-believe with AL, swinging and chase with CJ, getting lost in stories, books, and songs, gaining an understanding of who you are and, indeed, who you want to be. When you come in covered in dirt, pockets full to bursting with nature items collected that day, I know something is right in the world. I am so glad your Papa and I can provide you with the space and time to do all of those things. I feel lucky in that way. And I know I'm the luckiest because I get to be your Mama.

Happy Birthday, Sprout.

Love,
~Mama

To My Daughter On Her First Birthday

My Sweet Girl,

I have never met someone who knows her own mind so well at such a young age. Today you are one, and what a year it has been. Up until the day you were born, I think, we didn't know we needed you. You complete our family in the most perfect of ways. You have a wonderful laugh. You love animals, and rocks, and splashing your feet in water of all sorts. You are always ready to jump right in with the roughhousing going on and the family dance parties. You love all foods savory. You know millions of words and signs (that's hyperbole but only sorta): cracker, bird, apple, rock, cool, #MILK, #RABBIT, #DUCK, #ROCK... You give kisses to the animals you see and love in books, and know all the animal sounds (except, gosh, what does a giraffe say?!). You run and are trying to jump. You climb and climb and fall off and tumble and climb some more. You are a force. You make BC and Papa melt with your hugs. You make AL giggle with your demands and straightforward expression of glee. You make me shine with your love light reflected back at me in those eyes of yours where I see myself. 

I see you as your own person more clearly than I was able to see your siblings in their first years of life. I think most of that has to do with the fact that I am more experienced at this parenting thing (older and wiser and all of that) than I was 8 and 4 years ago. But also, I know, some of it has to do with the fact that you do you. You absolutely know who you are and do not hesitate to let others know as well. That, my sweet one, is what I hope will never go away. If you hold onto that I won't ever worry about you. I'll only sit back and watch you take on the world. 

Happy Birthday, CJ.

Love,

~Mama