First Borns

My mom asked me to take a picture of her first born playing in the sand with my first born. At the time I sort of rolled my eyes but took it anyway, if only to humor her. But it has since turned into one of my favorite pictures. I don't know. There is something about it... JA and BC just look so... The same, somehow. I just love it.

Strawberries and Grapefruit

Strawberries and grapefruit. That's about all that has "sounded good" to eat to me for the past several months. Luckily, it has been strawberry season here in the old midwest. Double lucky I have access to organic grapefruit and grapefruit juice year-round (because, America). Although it has been a long road to get here, here it is at last. In December we will welcome our second child into this world. So many thoughts, so many emotions, so much fun explaining things to the Big Brother to be. I asked him what he thought about being a big brother. His words, verbatim, "not very bad. It's just a little odd." Exactly, my little wise one. Exactly.

Creek Stompin'

Well, we moved into our tiny abode. Thanks to my brothers, the move was fast and painless. Of course, when you're moving into 400 sq ft there really isn't all that much "stuff" to move. We are not even two weeks in and I am down to only 2 boxes left to unpack. Woohoo! 

The move was harder on BC than I had anticipated. Even though he had been included in the process, had had endless conversations about the move in the months leading up to it, and had been encouraged to tell us what he was feeling about moving to a new home, it was still a change. A big change. The house we moved from was the house where he was born - literally - it's been all he's known of "home". And I can only imagine what that must be like for him. Truth be told, I was surprisingly emotional about the move myself. Don't get me wrong, I was and am elated to be out of that neighborhood, in a place where we can feel safe and comfortable, and well on our way to our ultimate goal of owning a sustainable homestead. But my son was born in that home - literally. It's the home where he took his first steps, had his first bath, at his first solid food, recovered from his first fever, and on and on. We were leaving behind a wall marked with dates and heights and others with beautifully random and meticulously intentional crayon and marker artwork. We were leaving behind many memories of late nights with a newborn, dreams of what the baby growing in my belly would bring, and fears at the thought of "starting a family". We were leaving behind so much. 

Except we weren't really. Because all of those things (even the walls) are held fast in our memories. The things that I want to remember I will remember because of what they are, not where they happened. But still, the move was somewhat emotional, which made for some difficult days. Our solution was to go creek stompin'. Turns out it was just what we needed. 

Traditions

Each year for the past 2 years, on a warm June morning, my mom, son, and I have gone blueberry picking at a local u-pick blueberry farm. Today marked the third year for this. It was breezy, overcast, and just sticky enough to remind us we were in Indiana, after all. He made sure to bring his little tin pail, "just like" the one Sal carries in Blueberries for Sal (which we read last night in preparation for today's outing). Kaplink, Kaplank, Kaplunk really is the sound those berries make dropping into the bottom of an empty tin pail. 

Another Summer

Although the first day of summer has not officially made its appearance, here in Indiana, summer is upon us. Summer with a toddler is the best summer I have ever experienced in my adult life. Museums, parks, farms, camping, dirtying, hoses, sprinklers, water guns and balloons, bubbles, fires, treats, and cloud dough. So much cloud dough.

What's that, you say? Never heard of cloud dough, you say?? It is magical stuff. Flour and baby oil (note, use unscented baby oil) mixed together forms a soft - one could say cloud-like "dough" of sorts. Not quite sand and not quite mud but something equally deserving of child's play in its own right. Try it. Make it and put it in a large container (large enough for a toddler to sit it = bonus), and GO. It's never-ending fun and oh-so-summer.

On This Day

This was mostly my Mother's Day:

 What good is dirt if it is never made into a mud hole?

Three

All the things that make up you are all the things I love. Okay. Maybe not all the things. But all the things that make up you are all the things that have made me grow exponentially over the last three years, that's for sure. Since the day you peacefully entered the world, your sweet spirit has enabled me to reach towards being a better me. I'm not sure if that's part of the job description of "Mama" or if it is just what I needed in my life - but the pull is undeniable. I need to be better. I have to be better. Because you are here. Because you are, every day, the best you can be. Because you know no other way to be. And I strive to do the same. It is not perfection I am growing towards. It is living fully and with arms wide open to the world. Be patient with me, for living as you do takes a lot of unlearning for an adult like me. Luckily, I have the perfect teacher. Thank you for taking me under your wing.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Boy.

Love,

~Mama